Remember Love Read online

  "It’s mine." She glanced up from the receipt drawer. "I’ve had it five years."

  He straightened, focusing on Kitty’s face, noting the new lines and smudged shadows. She owned it, but that wasn’t enough reason to change his plans. "How's business?"

  She paused organizing the receipts. What had prompted him to ask that? Afraid to meet his gaze, she fiddled with the papers. "Business is fine."

  She pushed a stray curl behind her ear, praying Alec would leave soon. Handsome and broad, he dwarfed her little bookstore and reminded her of things better left in the past.

  Like the touch of his skin against hers, the softness of their first kiss…

  She shoved the receipts into their respective files with more force than necessary. When she looked up, he was frowning.

  "You still live here, in Hicksville." His tone questioned as he stepped closer.

  Katrina was glad the counter separated them, glad she was not close enough to see the peculiar gold-flecks in his hazel eyes or to feel the virility he wore like a finely tailored jacket.

  She swallowed, hardly able to look at him without wanting to weep. The way his hair hung over his brow, a bit too long, wild, the slanted shape of his eyes . . . every part of his face looked like Joey. The knowledge tore through her, ripping at the ragged edges of a wound not yet healed.

  She gulped a deep breath, willing the aching sorrow to pass, at least until she could get home to safety.

  Focus.

  A bit steadier, she dared to look up.

  He watched her, eyes narrowed. His shoulders were broader, his voice deeper, but the way he moved, the scent of his cologne . . . The years melted away and she was seventeen again.

  Ensnared in a love gone horribly wrong with a boy everyone had warned her couldn't be trusted.

  "You okay, Kitty?"

  She backed up a step, bumping into the wall behind her. "My name is Katrina and I like it here in Hickstown."

  The corners of his lips lifted. "Ville."

  "Whatever." She shoved her trembling hands into the pockets of her faded Levi’s. "I’m not the same girl you dated in high school. Judging by those lines around your eyes, I’d guess you’re different too."

  She studied his leaner features, the cheekbones that seemed more prominent, harder, edgier than before. "I’ve heard you were in real estate at the right time." She looked past him, struggling to forget the past, knowing it was impossible. A shiny motorcycle hugged the curb in front of her store.

  "Nice bike. Looks expensive." Her tone came out more snide than she’d intended. Haughty to cover her torturous fear.

  Alec's features darkened. "It’s worth more than your store."

  "Maybe in dollars." She pursed her lips. He was still as competitive as ever. Get him angry and he'd leave. She'd learned that ten years ago. "Your ego’s the same."

  "And you’re just as disorganized."

  Offense prickled through her. "My shop is perfect."

  Alec squinted and annoyance tugged at the corners of his mouth. Good. He'd always hated to be contradicted. A tic cramped his eyelid and if she weren't so desperate for his departure, his stress might make her feel some pity.

  "Your books don’t appear to be in any type of alphabetical order. They’re shelved randomly. And look," he picked up a novel and stuck it in her face. "This has two prices on it." When she rolled her eyes, he smirked. "You’re in the red, aren’t you?"

  "That is absolutely none of your business." The muscles at the back of her neck tightened. "So you’re here for the reunion. Why’d you come to the store? You've made it clear you don't want anything to do with me."

  Alec stepped away from her. It was as if a mask slid over his features, exposing him for the stranger he now was. "Business brings me to town and curiosity brought me to your store."

  The doorbell jingled. Katrina exhaled with relief. Sharon, former schoolmate turned employee, stepped into the store, her heels clicking against the entryway tiles. The door shut behind her.

  Now was the time to get rid of Alec, before the emotions rocketing through her combusted. "Did you get to the bank before it closed?"

  Wordlessly, Sharon stared at the back of Alec's head. He pivoted as Katrina slid out from behind the counter. Sharon’s quiet eyes widened with shock.

  "Alec Munroe? Wow, it’s been forever." Sharon broke into a rare grin, no doubt prompted by memories of a happier time in her life.

  "Hey, Sharon. How are you?" Alec shifted toward her, and she flinched.

  Katrina frowned.

  Sharon straightened, and Katrina wondered if she’d imagined her friend’s cringe. "I have three little ones at home now. You’re here for the reunion?"

  "Among other things." Alec’s gaze flicked over Katrina.

  An erratic beat pounded at the base of her skull. Alec needed to leave now, before Sharon mentioned Joey. "I think Alec is leaving."

  His face tightened at her tone. "Kicking me out of your shop, Katrina? That’s real Christian of you and exactly what I'd expect."

  Cheeks burning, she looked away. She couldn’t blame him for the hurt she saw in his eyes. The girl he’d known had been both selfish and self-righteous.

  "I'm sorry." For more than he knew. But it didn't excuse his part in this. She wasn't the only one who'd been selfish. Biting back her anguish, she hurled him a hard stare. "You shouldn't have sent back my letters."

  For a second, his face changed. The slightest flicker in the muscles of his forehead before his jaw hardened. Had that been surprise? She searched his features, allowing herself to drink in more than she should. Just one long look before he left and she never saw him again.

  "Maybe I should head to the office," Sharon said, her soft voice sliding between their tension and interrupting Katrina's perusal. Sharon held out the bank receipt she'd been holding.

  "You're fine." Blinking, Katrina took the paper and stepped to the front door. She opened it. "Alec is on his way out."

  He moved forward, as if to leave, but before walking through the door, he stopped. His gaze bore into her and she couldn't find the will to look away. The scent of his cologne engulfed her, tempted her. "We need to talk, Kitty. Have dinner with me."

  He stood in front of her, handsome, intent, but the only thing Katrina could feel was acid fear burning in her chest.

  Soon enough, he’d find out about Joey. When he did, he would loathe her. Because keeping Joey from him had been more than unchristian. It had been cruel and selfish. Now Joey was gone and she could never make things right.

  For anyone.

  Throat burning with unshed tears, she looked away from Alec's scrutiny. "I don’t think dinner is a good idea. I’ll see you tomorrow at the reunion."

  His hand came up and touched her cheek so quickly she didn’t have time to move away. His fingers were warm, more gentle than she expected. The touch pulled her into the past, reminded her of their shared history.

  And their shared loss.

  Her shoulders slumped.

  "Don’t look so sad," he said quietly. "I might see you before then."

  CHAPTER TWO

  The door jingled as Alec slipped out, dark hair gleaming in the afternoon sun.

  "Alec is looking well." Sharon walked over to where Katrina stood and peered out the window, watching the motorcycle disappear down Main Street. She sniffed. "Smells good."

  "He still wears Cool Water," Katrina said, absentmindedly straightening the books on the shelf beside the window.

  "You remember his cologne?"

  "He’s going to hate me."

  Sharon placed her hand on Katrina’s shoulder and squeezed. "What happened to Joey was never your fault. It's surprising that he's coming to the reunion but never showed for the funeral."

  Katrina gently pulled away, once again reminded of the depths of her guilt and the extent of her lies. There was no way to escape the consequences of what she'd done.

  Your sins will find you out. Wasn't that what God promised? Crackling f
illed the air and she looked down. She'd crumpled the receipt.

  Blinking back tears, she pressed the paper flat against her leg, smoothing and pulling at it.

  "Thanks for running to the bank." She offered Sharon a small smile. "You can go home now, if you want."

  "You sure? I can help straighten—"

  "Is Steve home?"

  "He has night shift tonight."

  "That's good." At least Sharon would get a break from her husband’s constant bad mood. "Are you coming tomorrow to the reunion dinner?"

  "I'm planning on it." Uncertainty crept over Sharon's features.

  "Rachel and I will save you a seat."

  Sharon said good-bye and once she was gone Katrina closed up the store and headed home. The house greeted her with silent darkness. She flipped on the kitchen light and slouched against the wall. Drained. She wanted to sink into the yellowed linoleum and never rise again.

  Deep inside, she wished God had taken her too. Snatched her as easily as he had her only son. Yet here she remained, her stomach demanding to be fed, her heart pumping, her lungs filling steady as the sunrise. She moved away from the wall and dropped her purse on the cracked counter. Today had been a hard day, harder than most, and coming home was a bitter tonic.

  She still expected Joey’s smiling face to greet her, the sound of his little footsteps to trail behind her.

  She rummaged through a cupboard until she found a packet of Earl Grey. Then a coffee cup, which she filled with water. While it heated, she massaged her temples. The microwave beeped and she took out the cup and dunked the tea in to steep. When it was done she picked up the mug, studying the happy smiles of Simba and Mufasa.

  Mom, Joey and she had bought the cup on their one and only trip to Disney World. She traced the logo at the bottom of the cup with the edge of her thumb. The day had been warm for November, more humid than usual, and their shirts had been sweat-soaked by noon. It hadn’t mattered. Pure happiness was all she remembered when she thought of then, and she was thankful God had given them that one, special day to have for always.

  She brought her tea to the simple plaid couch in the living room and sank into the soft cushions. As she tried to relax, her eyes caught on Joey’s first grade picture hanging on the wall, and anxiety stiffened the muscles in her neck. Joey's brown hair flopped in wild waves over his forehead, exactly like Alec's.

  She folded her knees against her chest, pressing them against herself as if the position could calm the panic hurtling through her. What was she going to do? Time had seemed to channel Alec's wild streak into something stronger, more dangerous. She wasn’t sure what to expect from the man in her store today. Her childhood sweetheart had been replaced by someone smoother, more controlled.

  Which made his invitation for dinner all the more perplexing. Why would he, a stranger now, want dinner with the woman who'd left him at the altar?

  It made no sense, none at all. She’d wanted to say yes to discover his motives. They were there, hiding in his eyes. And what about the way he’d made her feel? Terrified, yes, but also alive again. Transported to a happier time. The buzz of adrenaline still hummed through her as memories assaulted her senses. He’d grown more handsome, suave, even. The temptation to call him and accept the dinner offer shocked her.

  Sipping her tea, she forced herself to think rationally. Teenage hormones. Childhood friendship. That’s all they’d had. If she agreed to some kind of exploratory dinner now, then he would discover the secret she'd kept from him.

  Dread rose quick and desperate. Hands trembling, she tightened her grip on the mug. She had to tell him at the reunion. Tomorrow. Before someone else told him. That was only right.

  The decision knotted her stomach.

  This would shatter him. Why, after ten years of silence, had he come home? She wasn't ready. Couldn't bear the thought of breaking this news to him. Oh God, why now?

  As usual, God didn't answer.

  The phone rang. Startled, she almost dropped her cup on the coffee table. A hiss shot between her lips and, carefully, she set the cup down. She tracked the phone by its muffled tones and managed to snag it from beneath the couch cushions on the fourth ring. Reaching over to the table beside the couch, she punched the off button on the answering machine.

  "Hello?"

  "You didn't answer your cell again." Rachel’s voice bounced through the receiver.

  "It's in my purse."

  "I heard Alec is in town."

  "For the reunion."

  Being born late in September put Katrina behind her friends in school, leaving Alec and Rachel in the same grade. Thank goodness she’d excelled in her classes and moved up a grade, otherwise she would’ve spent high school by herself, buried in a book rather than enjoying classes with her friends.

  "He’s here a day early?" Rachel asked.

  "Looks like it."

  "I want the scoop. Ex-fiancée, jilted bridegroom, whatever you’d like to call him, just walks into your shop? He’s gotta have a reason."

  Katrina sighed and settled back into the couch. "Not really. He said he’s here on business."

  "Right." Her best friend snorted on the other end. "I wouldn’t put it past him to have some twisted plan of revenge."

  Katrina rolled her eyes. "You never understood him."

  "He was an arrogant jerk. It makes me curious, and a little worried, that he visited you. You're vulnerable."

  "It’s been three years since Joey and mom died." Katrina winced. Saying the words still felt awkward, as if they jumbled on her tongue, unwilling to be released.

  "Grief can't be measured with time," Rachel said quietly. "You should see what he wants."

  "It doesn't matter. He's part of the past and I don't care what he wants." Liar. "I have to talk to him though. He needs to know about Joey."

  Silence reigned. Rachel cleared her throat. "It won't make a difference. He's better off not knowing."

  As if a dead child could be hidden in a town like Manatee Bay. "It's his right. Now that he's here, I should tell him before someone else does." Swallowing hard, she twirled the ancient phone cord. "He asked me to dinner."

  The squeal that reverberated through the receiver forced her to pull the phone from her ear before Rachel's pitch permanently damaged her hearing.

  When Rachel quieted, Katrina brought the phone back to her ear. "I said no."

  "What?" Another eardrum-busting shriek. "Call him back. We need to find out what he’s up to and why. Remember Mr. Carmichael?"

  She frowned. "Don't be ridiculous. Mr. Carmichael is old news that has nothing to do with Alec coming home." Alec's exposure of a favorite teacher as a pedophile had ripped the town in two. People hadn't believed him. Mom claimed Alec made up the accusation because Mr. Carmichael had flunked him.

  Katrina bit her lip, overwhelmed by Rachel's suggestions and the memories they brought to the surface. "My head is pounding. Can I talk to you later?"

  "I’ll hold you to that."

  They disconnected and with shaky fingers, Katrina picked up her tea. Rachel might be her best friend but sometimes she needed a break from the steam-rolling locomotive that was Rachel’s brain. She saw an apparition behind every bush, a boogeyman behind every door. Of course, being a part-time PI could have something to do with Rachel's cynical nature.

  At least she represented safety. Someone who could be counted on in time of crisis. Security mattered in this crazy life. Katrina studied her living room. Old couch, small TV, knick knacks scattered throughout, bright pillows tossed here and there. And pictures. Lots and lots of pictures of Joey.

  She’d created a home here, despite her early reluctance. A refuge. Stability and a tranquil, if empty, mood were finally returning. She didn’t like Alec stirring things up. Maybe at one time she would have wanted it. Would have needed it.

  But not now.

  The sooner he moved on, the better. For both herself and for him. Once he left she could continue focusing on saving her store. The unpaid hos
pital bill lying near the answering machine caught the corner of her gaze.

  She groaned and wanted to bury her face in her coffee cup, to sink forever out of this lonely and cold existence. Could she bear much more? How could God do this to her, right when she was beginning to want to trust Him again?

  *****

  Katrina walked into O'Donnell's the next evening. The doors closed behind her and she stepped into a transformed restaurant.

  Then again, she hadn't eaten here in three years.

  Exotic fragrances teased her senses. Tables covered with scarlet cloth and topped by candles and hibiscus greeted her. Waiters in starched white and black uniforms handed out hors d’oeuvres and drinks that sparkled beneath the muted lighting. She tugged the collar of her black dress up, noting the guests, looking for Sharon or Rachel. Hopefully their seats were together.

  Right when she felt like slinking off to the bathroom, she spotted Rachel’s flaming hair against the elegant background. Relieved, she started toward her. A group of hopeful men, eager to renew their friendship with Manatee Bay’s former prom queen, clustered around Rachel. From the flush on her face, Katrina guessed she was enjoying every minute of the attention.

  Katrina reached the edge of the circle and then hesitated. Rachel saw her and muscled through the crowd, took her arm and steered her toward a convenient settee against a wall.

  "Later, everyone," Rachel trilled, not even glancing back. "You rescued me. Did you see Travis Long? Former star quarterback? I could barely breathe. He has the nastiest stale nicotine breath. And did you see his beer belly? He lives in Idaho now." They sat down on the little couch. "Can you imagine trading Florida for Idaho?" Rachel shook her head and Katrina’s shoulders relaxed.

  "You look gorgeous, Rachel."

  "You, too." Rachel frowned. "Your dress is a little big."

  "I know." Katrina looked down at herself. "I think I lost weight again."

  "You're on a strict diet from now on, do you hear me? This is Dr. McCormick speaking and I am prescribing Little Debbie, at least two packs a day."

  Katrina smiled. Suddenly the large crowd seemed less intimidating, less noisy, more fun. "Okay, doc, but only if you eat them with me."